It cannot be the NFL without some sort of ranking.
Playoff seedings. Power rankings. Draft order. ‘Who won the offseason’ polls. You name it, the NFL will rate or score pretty much anything and everything.
So why should the schedule release videos, which came out last week, be any different? I see no reason, so here is my personal top 10. Please click on the links in the team names to watch them yourself.
And yes, I sat through all 32 – some more than once. But it was either that or the Eurovision Song Contest!
Trying to keep secrets secret
10. In the Carolina Panthers’ video, the “secret reveal meeting” is diverted by the invited players revealing their own secrets instead. Chuba Hubbard admits to living at the stadium while Jaycee Horn confesses to being a volunteer cop. But we begin with Xavier Legette, a South Carolina native, revealing his love of art, literature, fine wine and artisan cheeses, in his ‘real’ voice: the toffiest of British accents!
9. The Chicago Bears’ video sees the schedule accidentally emailed to lots of the wrong Ben Johnsons by a hapless assistant, played by Chicago-born actor Lamorne Morris. He then enlists the likes of Caleb Williams, Rome Odunze and Cole Kmet to find all the recipients, distract them and dispose of their phones, tablets and laptops before they can read their messages and leak the details. The range of amusing disposal methods used include bribery, steamrollers, pots of soup and the ocean.
Arts and Minecrafts
8. The New York Jets’ ‘infinite picture’ idea is nicely executed. The artist uses his fingers to continually expand the drawing, diving into ever-more minute detail, including dolphins, pirate ships and even a London bus for the game with the Broncos. We come neatIy full circle to finish back at the original image – how do they do that? Although clever, the voiceover from the artist could have been more inspiring and upbeat.
7. Several releases are based on video games this year. The best, the Los Angeles Chargers’ Minecraft-themed effort, is awash with cheeky nuggets and full-on slander about their opponents. I particularly enjoyed the “Will Levis memes overloaded your bandwidth” error message and the fact that our Chargers character entered the flint and steel mine under the “Contend” sign while the fella in black and gold used the “Rebuild” entrance. For more insight, read Philip’s full review.
Television is the vision
6. The Los Angeles Rams have done a “Saturday Night Live“ spoof, with actress – and renowned Rams superfan – Brenda Song dishing out a barrage of good-natured jibes and insults in the style of a rapid-fire news bulletin. No one in the fixture list is safe, with shade being thrown at everything from the Titans’ release videos to the “annoying“ 49ers players.
5. The Seattle Seahawks were inspired by throw-back commercials for action figures. Super heroes inspired by famous players such as Marshawn Lynch and Steve Largent fight off villainous opponents with weapons such as a sound cannon. The WWE-style voiceover gives it the right gravitas but the games are not revealed in the right order, which was a tad annoying!
4. The Baltimore Ravens produced a high-end, seven-minute film that is just as weird as the Apple TV series “Severance” on which it is based. If you do not watch the show, the baby goats, marching bands and ‘scary’ numbers will make no sense whatsoever. Then again, they are still as confusing to those of us who do watch the programme! I enjoyed the many references from the hit show, not least the idea that their real-life ”outties” cannot recall anything their “innies” encounter at work… including details of the schedule.
My top three
3. Much kudos goes to the Minnesota Vikings for the individuality and sheer audacity of their idea. The video makers somehow got fans to have tattoos denoting the team’s 2025 opponents – bear, tiger, hog and, erm, cheese grater – actually inked into their skin. Luckily, each tat featured a Vikes-based twist, from a deftly placed “Skol” to a helmet with horns. Assuming these were actually real tattoos, this concept is impressive and scary in equal measure.
2. Unlike “Severance”, I have never watched “Love Island”. However, the stereotypes used to portray the reality show contestants in the New York Giants’ video nearly won this for me. Watch out for the zebra-loving Chiefs girl, a Philadelphian proud of his tush, a Dolly Parton-esque cowgirl claiming “It’s going to be my year” and a guy in Commanders colours who goes by Robert, Bobby, Bob and many other names…
Once again though, it would have been nice if the reveals were in date order, which is why my winner is…
1. The Tennessee Titans. After their ‘vox-pops in the street’ classics in 2023 and 2024, they have smashed it once again. This year, they have produced a spoof ad for Schedule-Rizi, a pharmaceutical cure for Football Season Withdrawal. It starts in typical medicine commercial mode, backed by a suitably cheesy “Football is everything” jingle. Then, they subtly insult their opponents by aligning them with a long list of side effects. Look out for contra-indications such as altitude sickness/Broncos, imposter syndrome/Titans, nausea/Chiefs and simply ‘crapping out’/Raiders. For more thoughts on the Titans’ excellent work, check out Aimee’s review.
Missing in (legal) action
One video that was conspicuous in its absence, at least for a while, was the Indianapolis Colts. They took down their own Minecraft-themed video within hours, then apologised to Microsoft for breaking usage rights and to Tyreek Hill for mocking his legal troubles. Maybe league executives should review these things first?
Indy hurriedly created an alternative, in which players had to guess their opponents as they left the practice field. But bless ‘em, it screamed “we only had 10 minutes’ notice for this”.
Some of the other videos that failed to make my top 10 were long, boring, confusing – and in a couple of cases, all three. In contrast, my favourites has a simple premise, they were entertaining and the fixtures were clearly revealed throughout the video.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the whole point.
